Marriage Roles in Biblical Balance

God's will is for Christians to esteem His entire Word, and to both understand it and obey it in biblical balance. However, all too often Christians fail either to understand biblical balance in marriage roles or to be willing to obey God.

God has given five basic principles for marriage that are to be obeyed, not because a husband or wife "feels like it," and not because the other person "deserves it," but because God commands obedience.

Practicing God's five principles for marriage means obeying God, loving God, and trusting God whether or not it is easy or "feels good."

A first one of these five biblical principles is given in Ephesians 5:22-24. God says that wives are to submit themselves to their own husbands "as unto the Lord," and they are to be subject to their husbands "in every thing."

If this one truth is accepted and practiced in a marriage, and an equally important truth is misunderstood, ignored, or rebelled against, that marriage falls short of God's will.

A second biblical truth is: "Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it" (Eph. 5:25).

To understand God's command that husbands love their wives, we must recognize that the word translated "love" is "agape."

Inserting the meaning of "agape," we paraphrase: "Husbands, each of you must dedicate yourself to your wife and to her good. You must purpose and do those things that are best for her, whether you like her or not, no matter how she treats you, even if it kills you, just as Christ dedicated Himself to the church and gave His life for it" (Eph. 5:25).

We can find further light on the husband's role in marriage by considering the thirteenth chapter of 1 Corinthians. As we read "charity" or "love" we need to understand that God is speaking of "agape" love.

Agape love does not seek its own--it is not selfish (1 Cor. 13:5). Instead, agape love is directed toward the good of the other person. Therefore, for a husband to love his wife in accordance with God's command in Ephesians 5:25, he must unselfishly dedicate himself to doing what is best for his wife.

Agape love is not puffed up--it is not proud (1 Cor. 13:4). A husband is not loving his wife as God has commanded him to do if he is so proud that he will not let his wife have a thought or an opinion that does not agree with his.

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